Hunting for flames
by Leigh59
Summary: Rossi asks Garcia for a favor, using her famous skills. This is crack ,for all of the authors who get flamed by guest reviews. Think of this as cathartic for all of us that don't like the guest option. Co-written by Karma84


**A/N: This is for all the people who leave scathing reviews, and hide behind a 'guest' pen-name, for the people who wish they had Garcia's know how; and Rossi's money to follow through. Co-Written with my sometimes beta, Karma84 **

There was a gentle tap on the door, turning from her desk of monitors Penelope Garcia called out. "Enter, oh brave one." The door cracked open a bit and David Rossi poked his head in. "Hey, Garcia... Do you have a minute?"

Slightly startled Garcia stood, "Oh, of course Sir." Rossi walked into her office and closed the door. "Really Garcia, Rossi or David please. None of this 'sir' business." Rossi sat in the chair closest to the wall and leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. After taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he looked up to see her sitting in her chair watching him closely.

"Now, I'm not sure if this is a big deal or not. But, I have been receiving multiple negative and sometimes unnervingly hostile anonymous reviews. I know that the books are good; they are used by professors in class rooms and professionals in training seminars. This isn't just about my wounded ego. Is there any way for you to find out whether this is something I need to worry about, like if I am being stalked, and if I need to get the team involved?"

Garcia sat back in her chair, twirling a pink pen in her right hand thinking over all he just said. "So, you're telling me you've been flamed?"

Rossi looked at her with a confused expression and Garcia began laughing. "I'm sorry, I know you're upset David but the look on your face right now is fantastic. The term 'flame' is for just this kind of behavior. Give me a minute." At that she swung back toward her computers and began to type at an amazing speed, multitasking her way around her computers and searching for every call that came in as well.

"Here we go." At this, she sped read the page before closing it and turning back to Rossi. "Okay David, You have nothing to worry about with this flame thrower. After I found out who it was I researched this human from every angle. You are safe, this person is a serial flame thrower. Sometimes, people like this, are just cowards. They don't know any other way to function in life than to be creepy and hurtful. They like to hide behind the anonymity that a anonymous reviews give them.

Rossi sat back in his chair and let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "You know, you are a magic maker, thank you." She smiled at him and waved him off, "Get outta here Rossi, I got work to do." He laughed outright, as if this could have kept her from anything, and let himself out of her domain.

FTFTFTFTFTFT

They were all getting ready to pack up for the night when Rossi knocked on Garcia's door again. Listening for a response, he smiles when he hears her call out "Come on in David." Rossi walks into her lair, as the team affectionately dubbed it. When he was within give or take three feet of her she held up a folded piece of paper. "Mr. Rossi, I have the information you seek. I just want you to tell me, prove to me, you know what your doing here."

Rossi held his right hand over his heart, "Penelope Garcia how did you?" He says as he takes the offered piece of paper.

"If I can't anticipate the requests of all of you guys by now then I shouldn't be in this department. Now should I?" Garcia arches an eyebrow in his direction, waiting still for him to somehow 'prove' to her he knew what he was getting himself in to. "Okay, okay. I know what I'm doing Garcia. I don't plan on behaving any worse to this person then I do to you. I really and truly just want to ask why they write such awful things about my work. Then I'm going to hand them a brand new laptop and challenge them to do better."

"Take pictures. Better yet I'm coming. When you're done you can take me to dinner." smiling she grabs her coat and bag as she hustles him out the door so she can lock it up tightly for the night.


End file.
